Thursday 24 March 2016

An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington by Karl Pilkington, Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant.

An Idiot Abroad is a tie-in with a popular television programme of the same name. I have NOT seen this TV show, so I read this book with open eyes. But my eyes became tired and I found the writing style to be newspaper column-like, bright but lacking depth. Karl is very much the bloke-in-the-pub who offers his narrow-minded opinions to anyone who will listen.

Karl’s commentary on the Seven Wonders of the World and the countries they are in, is amusing in the same way as drunks can be funny in a party. He offers an alternative view of tourism and history but this comes across as a bored holiday-maker making a claim against the tour operator in the hope of getting some compensation.

An Idiot Abroad is NOT top class comedy but is very similar to a travel blog from a disappointed tourist. It is NOT good writing and is padded out with transcripts of telephone conversations between the three authors. To create a feeling of dumbing-down to the script, Karl deliberately keeps using bad grammar, misusing me instead of my, as in “I had to get me coat out”. I found this very annoying.

Because the writing was lacking, it was supported by the inclusion of some very good photographs so that the reader could get a better understanding of the atmosphere. Although this book is amusing, I found it to be a POOR read. The commentary is more of a moan and lacks punch. I really noticed the difference when I finished this book and moved onto the next in my collection, thinking BANG! this is more like it.

I was disappointed by An Idiot Abroad and it offered very little reading pleasure. I will NOT be bothering with another of Karl Pilkington’s books and this one only gets 2 stars from me. Karl offers his view of the Seven Wonders of the World, so I will offer below the seven most amusing quotes I can pull from this disappointing read, so that you will NOT have to bother reading the whole book.

1: He took me to a mosque. Praying and religion are a big deal in Egypt. Ahmed prays five time a day. I would never keep to it if I lived here. I struggle having my five fruits a day.

2: We went to a block party today. It was the worst party I have ever been to. Aimlessly walking about as people blew whistles and made noise with air horns. I would normally avoid things like this. I remember not enjoying the Queen’s Jubilee street party when I was a kid. Scruffy Sandra ate loads of trifle me mam had made and didn’t bring anything to the party. This block party was worse. There was no trifle whatsoever. People just stood around looking a bit bewildered. It was like wandering amongst the staff of an office block who are stood on the street ‘cos a fire alarm has gone off.

3: I did some yoga with a baba. He laughed because I couldn’t stretch as well as he could. It was hardly surprising really as he was stark bollock naked apart from a pair of shades, while I was wearing combat pants with pockets stuffed full of toffees I’d taken from the first-class lounge at the airport. The guide said if I gave him some more money he would show me more. I don’t know what more there was to see from this fella. The way he was bending upside down in my face I could have checked his prostate gland.

4: Before I left, they took me to the gift shop. I was the only one in there, which was no great surprise given that all the products were made from cow poo and piss. Hardly Bodyshop, is it? In this day and age, when every product has to list all its contents on the label, a shop like this is never going to be big business. They packaged them up well, but as the saying goes, ‘You can’t polish a turd’. And believe me, this place has tried.

5: I had about four hours sleep then was woken by police sirens. They have a selection of sirens to choose from. One goes waaa … waaa, then there’s woo woo and wooooooooooo and daaa daaa. The copper seemed to decide to go through the choice of sirens at four in the morning outside my room. He was like one of them people on the Tube in London who decides to use their commute to see what other ringtones they’ve got on their mobile.

6: I caught sight of a few local newspapers today. They all had gruesome pictures on the cover. There was a big photo of a car accident with dead bodies and a picture of an old man who had shot himself in the head. Back home a headline like ‘Shocking images inside’ normally end up being just of Charlotte Church on a beach with a spot on her arse.

7: Richard asked me if I was excited about getting close to Machu Picchu. I said I wasn’t. How could I be? I was still ill, hot and exhausted. The views were amazing, we were on top of the world, but why people would live up here just doesn’t make sense. My mam and dad have retired to Snowdon in Wales but they’re sick of it being a 15-minute drive to the local Spar supermarket. Living high up just isn’t practical.

An Idiot Abroad is available as an Amazon Kindle eBook and was written in 2010.

No comments:

Post a Comment